To write affirmations for yourself, begin with a real situation, choose something within your influence and put it into words you can believe. A useful first draft might be “I can ask for clarification” rather than “I always know what to do.” You can change or stop using it whenever it no longer fits.
1. Name the situation plainly
Write what is happening without judging your whole character. “I am putting off an unfamiliar task” gives you more to work with than “I am lazy.” “I want to speak in tomorrow’s meeting” is more specific than “I need to transform my confidence.”
Choose one situation for this attempt. You can address another one later; a sentence that tries to fix everything often becomes too general to use.
2. Find something you can influence
You cannot promise that everyone will agree, that an application will succeed or that you will feel calm on demand. You can prepare a question, ask for help, practise a small part or choose a realistic next step. Start there.
If what you need is a resource, accommodation or another person’s action, name that need as well. An affirmation does not make practical constraints disappear.
3. Write a sentence in your own voice
- Too absolute: “I never make mistakes.” A workable alternative: “I can check my work and learn from a mistake.”
- Outside your control: “Everyone will like my idea.” An alternative: “I can explain my idea clearly and listen to questions.”
- Too distant: “I am a brilliant artist.” An alternative: “I can make one drawing and notice what I want to try next.”
- Denying a feeling: “Nothing worries me.” An alternative: “I can feel uncertain and ask for support.”
4. Pair it with a small action
For the sentence about explaining an idea, the action could be to write three points before a conversation. For the drawing sentence, put a pencil and paper on the table. A sentence is easier to assess when you know what it is meant to help you do.
5. Read it and make an honest adjustment
Ask whether you would speak this way to yourself on an ordinary day. Shorten it, soften it or use a plain instruction instead. You do not need to repeat a sentence that feels false or makes you feel worse. The beginner guide explains why effects should not be assumed to be universal.
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Make-your-own affirmation worksheet
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Make-your-own affirmation worksheet
The situation
What is within my influence
A sentence I can believe
One action that goes with it
After trying it, what would I change?
Use the editable affirmation tool to write and print a version. It also offers examples if you want a starting point, but your sentence can use entirely different words.
