A family looks through a photo album beside an open notebook.

Conversation starters for family should give everyone an easy way in. Ask about something people can picture: a favourite smell, a funny mistake or a place they would like to show the others. Around a mixed-age table, let people tell a story, give a short answer, draw their answer or pass.

Start with one question during dinner or a visit. Adults can answer first to show that the question is an invitation rather than a test. Avoid correcting somebody’s answer or asking a child to perform for the group.

Questions for the dinner table

  1. What would you name a restaurant that served tonight’s dinner?
  2. What did you notice on the way here that nobody else might have seen?
  3. Which sound tells you that you are home?
  4. What made you curious today?
  5. If tomorrow had one extra hour, what would you do with it?
  6. What is something small we could look forward to this week?

Questions children and adults can both answer

  1. If you could invent a tiny holiday, what would people do?
  2. Which object in this room would have the best story to tell?
  3. What is a skill you could teach someone in five minutes?
  4. Which animal would be the most inconvenient dinner guest, and why?
  5. What would you put in a box for us to open in a year?
  6. What would a perfect rainy afternoon include?

Stories across generations

  1. What did a normal Saturday look like when you were younger?
  2. Which food reminds you of a person or place?
  3. What did you have to practise before it became easy?
  4. Who taught you a useful trick that you still use?
  5. What was different about keeping in touch with friends?
  6. What family saying do you remember, and where did it come from?

Questions that become shared plans

  1. What is something we could make using things we already own?
  2. Which nearby place would you like to show the rest of us?
  3. What should we cook together next time?
  4. What could become a five-minute family tradition?
  5. Who has an idea for a game where nobody needs to win?
  6. What would make the next gathering easier or more comfortable?

Three ways to use the questions

  1. One question, many versions: everyone answers the same question, including adults. Keep a pass option.
  2. Choose for the table: offer two questions and let people pick one together.
  3. Draw first: give everyone a scrap of paper for a picture, then invite them to explain it. This can include someone who would rather not speak immediately.

If people remember a shared event differently, make room for both accounts. “What do you remember about it?” is more welcoming than trying to establish whose memory is correct. For larger gatherings, smaller pairs may be easier than taking turns around the whole table.

Skip questions about grades, bodies, money or family disagreements unless the person concerned chooses to discuss them. The aim is a conversation people want to join. Use the Family set in our printable conversation cards or explore questions about a grandparent’s life for a longer one-to-one conversation.